Skipping Town

Chemo day. I went in early to get my IV and have blood taken for the ABS neutrophil retest. It took the nurse two tries for the IV, which is worse than one but better than four. The number returned to normal range, so we could proceed with the appointment and chemo. My appointment today was with my surgeon, not the PA as it usually is. I was nervous to ask her to please interpret the results of my CT scan. She is a brilliant surgeon but she does NOT sugarcoat anything, so I knew she'd give the stark reality. I was so happy when she confirmed that the results were good! She even said she thinks the trace fluid noted in the results might just be scar tissue from the scraping she did on the diaphragm. So we can all be confidently happy with this scan. This is good news to hold onto, because my CA-125 results today were disappointing: six points higher than last time. I messaged the PA right away, and she discussed the results with the doctor and study coordinator, and they are not con...

Went into the office on Monday to get a lot of in-person stuff done since I'm going to be out of at home three days this week. Lucia had musical rehearsal, Greta had crew. Andrew and I took Farrah for a walk. Not too much to report for the day. Today, Tuesday, I went into the office again--things are busy because we have Graduate Student Appreciation Week next week, with several big events. This is a bad time to be out of commission but there's nothing I can do about it, so I just got as much done today as I could.  The day started off as the day before chemo always does--with blood work. My ABS neurophil (neutrophil? don't feel like checking to confirm spelling) number is low again, as it was last time, which means I have to get retested tomorrow morning to see if it's gone up. I really don't want this treatment to be delayed so let's hope it changes its mind and returns to normal tomorrow.  Definitely dreading the ordeal tomorrow. It's like this each time....

The kids and I went to Trader Joe's this morning then stopped in at Tous Les Jours for coffee buns. We reminisced about the Music Together class Lucia took as a baby in Park Slope (which she does not remember) and about the lockdown in March 2020 (which they do remember).  The rest of the day was restful: Greta worked on a school assignment; Lucia read; Andrew and Lucia went for a run; I read; the girls and I finished season 5 of Lost (shocking and upsetting); Andrew and I watched The White Lotus. It was strange and new not to have the looming CT scan results shadowing the day.  Tomorrow the regular routine resumes, with the kids' spring break finally over. It's not a regular week for me, sadly, with chemo #5 on Wednesday. Dreading it but ready to put it in the rearview.

My CT scan showed no evidence of cancer in chest or abdomen/pelvis! The results came in at 1:00 a.m. and I saw the notification when I woke up. I'm excited and relieved. I don't know if this means I'm in "NED" status, which means "no evidence of disease," ovarian cancer's version of remission; or if I have to finish chemo before reaching this status. I'll find out on Wednesday when I go in for my pre-chemo appointment. Many people with this low-grade form of ovarian cancer are NED for many years before having a recurrence, so please keep sending up all the good energy and prayers!  It was so nice not having the dread hanging over my head all day.  Mid-morning, Greta and I took Nutmeg to the vet for her annual check-up. This is a huge pain because her vet is in Bethel Park--it's not easy to find a vet to treat exotic pets, and yes, rabbits are considered exotics. She got her vaccine; got some bloodwork because, at almost six years old, she...

Tried to keep as busy as possible today to keep my mind off impending CT scan results. I worked from home, took a break for a Lunch n' Lost with the kids, and then took them shopping at Target for spring clothes later in the afternoon. Lucia tried on all her spring clothes yesterday and it was absolutely comical--she outgrew everything. Every last thing. She had a huge growth spurt over the past year. Greta had outgrown most of her things too, but mostly because she always insists on hanging onto things far longer than they actually fit. She just likes to keep them. They got a few things in NYC and a few things at Target. A good start. Beth and Nate came over for dinner, which finished off the day. I don't expect to get CT scan results until next week. The waiting is excruciating.

On Wednesday I went into the office until lunchtime then worked from home. The girls slept late. Lucia hung out with a friend in the afternoon. Later, the girls and I watched two episodes of Lost and then Andrew and I watched The White Lotus. I had to keep my mind totally distracted to keep from thinking about my CT scan the next day. Today, Thursday, was the scan--the midpoint scan that's part of the clinical study. Though the scan itself was fine, it took two nurses four attempts to get the IV in. It was horrendous. After the third try I thought I was going to pass out and had to lie down on a gurney. The fourth attempt was actually on the CT scan table--they tried to flush the IV and it hurt like crazy so they had to take it out and try once more. Awful awful. And what's even more awful is that I won't get the test results for several days.  If I'm not working or reading or watching TV, I start catastrophizing. I worked from home for the day. Tonight I made chili and...