Monday, September 17, 2007

Countdown?

It’s hard to believe, but we could very well be headed back East in as little as 14 days. This time, we’d actually be making the trip by car, driving our new (old) Volvo cross-country with our suitcases, a random assortment of plates, and piles of pinecones, taking our time to see some of the sights as we make the long journey. Our destination: undecided. My shower and our wedding will initially lead us back to PA, but we’ll essentially be homeless once again, adding more things to our already voluminous collection in the attic and re-packing our suitcases with the fall clothes currently buried in boxes. Where we’ll go next is anyone’s guess.

Or we might just stay here, swallowing our dislike for our suburban existence in reluctant exchange for an excellent business opportunity for Andrew that will, surely, lead us back to New York or beyond in the not-so-far future. Just as we were on pins and needles pretty much until we boarded the plane to fly to CA in July, we are putting off plane ticket purchases and any sort of planning until we know what’s going to happen.

We’re both incredibly torn. I love the idea (obviously) of leaving CA behind and starting up a cozier, more culturally rich life back in familiar territory. The downside is that there could be months of limbo-time, living-out-of-suitcases time, while Andrew seeks the right opportunity. The downside of staying here is obvious—we hate it. I have the strange sense of missing out on something, of being outside of real life, of being in a no man’s land thousands of miles away from anything that’s meaningful to me. The upsides are that this job really is perfect for Andrew, it could lead to great things for him, and, once we know we’re staying, we’ll move all our stuff out and actually live here. Surely, that will help this feel more like a home.

And so we wait, setting up elaborate “if this…then this” scenarios and trying to decide exactly what will make us most happy. There are potentially 2 weeks to go. Much could happen any day, at any time.

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