To Church We Go


I went to church on Sunday on a reconnaissance mission. Andrew and I have agreed (or, rather, I proposed and Andrew amiably went along with it) that Lucia should be baptized, and so I found a local Catholic church and went to check it out. The logistics of a baptism are challenging, seeing as how I’m a lapsed Catholic, Andrew’s not baptized at all, we were married outside the church, and we’re not members of a parish. And the reasons for pursuing it are murky, even to me, even though I do feel it’s the right thing to do—despite the fact that the things Andrew and I will teach her are at odds with most, or all, of current church doctrine. An unwise perusal of the Catholics Come Home website last night, where I read that not only are homosexual unions “disordered” but childless married couples are as well, reminded me that for a liberal-minded person living in 2010, being a Catholic necessarily means cherry-picking from the less astonishingly outdated and intolerant parts of the faith.

But it’s hard, very hard, to simply set aside 12+ years of Catholic schooling and 30+ years of actually being Catholic when it comes to thinking about baptism for Lucia. To this day, sometimes when I drop a pen and bend down to pick it up I can still hear the voice of Sr. Regina, one of my elementary school teachers, instructing me to “offer [the action] up to the souls in purgatory.” Offer it up, she said. Offer it up. Baptism has always seemed like a necessary rite of passage, something you just do for your baby. Like a good life insurance plan, it seemed morbid but never optional.

I’m not really being clear; and my reasons for wanting Lucia baptized aren’t all rooted in morbidity and fear. I was thinking recently about our trip to Seville and Granada for Holy Week a few years ago—those candlelit processions, those fervent crowds. It’s a breathtaking spectacle no matter what your faith; but it feels like something more—something more intimate, more moving—when the faith driving the processions and rituals is your own. It connects you, somehow, to something larger, gives you a sense of belonging. Whether or not Lucia will embrace or renounce that belonging will be up to her.

Tomorrow I meet with the church deacon to see if a baptism will be possible.

Comments

The Kovalls said…
You took the words right out of my mouth (though, you said them much more eloquently than I ever could!). AJ and I struggled with the exact same feelings, but we decided it's best to expose Ethan to as much as we can and let him make an informed decision when the time comes. Good luck jumping through the red tape!