Areas of Strength / Areas for Growth
Yesterday evening, Andrew and I found ourselves sitting before the deacon, discussing areas of strength and areas for growth in our relationship. It was difficult coming up with growth areas, so we found ourselves talking about how Andrew wishes I’d wipe off the kitchen counters, and how I wished Andrew FOR GOD’S SAKE! would do a load of laundry once in a while. It was difficult to nit-pick like this, because we actually don’t care about these things at all (well, Andrew probably does wish I was better at cleaning up, but he loves me anyway). However, we were forced to do so to get through that evening’s “marriage preparation” session.
I was really dreading the whole thing, unsure if I’d be able to get through it without blurting out in exasperation, “We’ve been married for over two years, and been together for six! Just convalidate us, already!” Fortunately, Andrew always manages to pull out the charm when he has to (or even when he doesn’t have to). At one point, I was discussing how much I like Andrew’s personality (an area of strength!), how warm he is, and the deacon nodded and said in a somewhat awestruck voice, “Yes...He just draws you in.” I felt for a moment that I was married to a kind of guru.
We were asked whether we came from backgrounds where sex was actively and openly discussed, at which point I nearly laughed out loud, remembering what passed for “sex ed” in our Catholic school, which can be summed up as follows: Don’t have sex. Don’t get pregnant. Fortunately, Andrew carried this answer, telling the deacon about the in-depth sex ed he got in his much more progressive prep school. He didn’t go so far as to describe being shown how to put a condom over a banana, which was probably for the best, and I refrained from telling the deacon how I was taught that kissing and French kissing were on opposite sides of the “marriage line.”
It was quite funny to talk about this with Lucia screeching right there in front of us, and it was funnier still when the deacon told us we could have the convalidation ceremony at the same time as Lucia’s baptism. “You don’t usually expect to have a marriage and a baptism on the same day,” Andrew joked boldly. The deacon laughed. Andrew’s so funny! What an amazing person! I could see him thinking.
Anyway, potential minefields—should Andrew become Catholic? will we pray together to stay together?—were minimal, and we made it through the session a) without sounding like heathens and b) without offending the deacon, who is a perfectly nice person. One more session to go.
I was really dreading the whole thing, unsure if I’d be able to get through it without blurting out in exasperation, “We’ve been married for over two years, and been together for six! Just convalidate us, already!” Fortunately, Andrew always manages to pull out the charm when he has to (or even when he doesn’t have to). At one point, I was discussing how much I like Andrew’s personality (an area of strength!), how warm he is, and the deacon nodded and said in a somewhat awestruck voice, “Yes...He just draws you in.” I felt for a moment that I was married to a kind of guru.
We were asked whether we came from backgrounds where sex was actively and openly discussed, at which point I nearly laughed out loud, remembering what passed for “sex ed” in our Catholic school, which can be summed up as follows: Don’t have sex. Don’t get pregnant. Fortunately, Andrew carried this answer, telling the deacon about the in-depth sex ed he got in his much more progressive prep school. He didn’t go so far as to describe being shown how to put a condom over a banana, which was probably for the best, and I refrained from telling the deacon how I was taught that kissing and French kissing were on opposite sides of the “marriage line.”
It was quite funny to talk about this with Lucia screeching right there in front of us, and it was funnier still when the deacon told us we could have the convalidation ceremony at the same time as Lucia’s baptism. “You don’t usually expect to have a marriage and a baptism on the same day,” Andrew joked boldly. The deacon laughed. Andrew’s so funny! What an amazing person! I could see him thinking.
Anyway, potential minefields—should Andrew become Catholic? will we pray together to stay together?—were minimal, and we made it through the session a) without sounding like heathens and b) without offending the deacon, who is a perfectly nice person. One more session to go.
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