Wednesday, March 26 and Thursday, March 27

On Wednesday I went into the office until lunchtime then worked from home. The girls slept late. Lucia hung out with a friend in the afternoon. Later, the girls and I watched two episodes of Lost and then Andrew and I watched The White Lotus. I had to keep my mind totally distracted to keep from thinking about my CT scan the next day.

Today, Thursday, was the scan--the midpoint scan that's part of the clinical study. Though the scan itself was fine, it took two nurses four attempts to get the IV in. It was horrendous. After the third try I thought I was going to pass out and had to lie down on a gurney. The fourth attempt was actually on the CT scan table--they tried to flush the IV and it hurt like crazy so they had to take it out and try once more. Awful awful. And what's even more awful is that I won't get the test results for several days. 

If I'm not working or reading or watching TV, I start catastrophizing. I worked from home for the day. Tonight I made chili and then rewatched season 3 episode 1 of The White Lotus while Andrew took the kids to piano; after dinner the girls and I watched Lost; now I'll settle in with my crime novel, The Secret Place by Tana French. There's no reason to expect the scan results will be anything like the scan I got back in November that started this whole terrible journey. But I think I'll always have PTSD from that day on top of the expected scan-ziety. So: books and TV.